ELINAswidin
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 00:37
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Read a little and you will take pleasure by speech and beauty of the language:
DINA of the ruby
ON THE OUTCOME OF AUGUST
On the outcome August 2003 I departed my period - three years of a strict regime before one Israeli organization, which is based in Moscow.
I kept rather well all these three years, she carried coats, foot-wear on the high heels, it survived flying times of infinite commissions, it travelled on the basis of Russia cities, it smiled against different visitors, it moved before the mouth the stoneware words, such as did not never pronounce my language, “project”, “presentation”, “coordination advice”; infinitely it projected before the public and… it is shorter, made another many similar pieces, about which and she did not think before in itself, there… i.e., here, in the judaic wasteland. Well, and here, it encountered, it coned saw file or as speaks my mom - “she ”…
Three years, three complete years without thirty I was secured, earnest fulfiling its responsibilities, from the uneasiness and the zeal, and on the end of flight of its service it was strongly glad against the future will.
Forces left me, it is simple to the ridiculous: I was fulled on the sofa based on the morning to the night, being covered for the sake of cold perspiration every time that I should it was be raised and crawl to the tank. Neuropathologist placed to me the strange diagnosis, beside which with other circumstances I on no account would not verify. He resounded elegiac: the syndrome of chronic fatigue. To another, orthopedist, said that spine my before the disastrous condition, so that he will not astonish, if in the very near future I completely to . Cardiologist hung up down me daily the chains: the flanged heavy instrument, which fixes the least changes in the work of heart, and which followed above this obedience diagnosis shook me by its picturesqueness: nerve heart.
And finally specialist - demonstrated the photograph of my inherent, such customary breasts, which, as if deep-water blisters, insidiously accumulated before themselves pearly deposits.
by dead fish several painful weeks, I decided to be hauled beside Tel Aviv to my homoeopathist - old and wise woman, since olden times as pigeon, that feeds up me by white sweet balls.
It treated me from the most different diseases, and it is more accurate, from the different sensations, which were always reduced down one: to gone on the spree . It poured beside me the handfulls of white balls, shook me, pulled up, ironically casting looks above the goggles….
In a word, on one of the days, palpitation, weakness and faintness, I entailed beside Tel Aviv.
Finally, to me it was explained, that everything - nonsense, everything - gone on the spree . To drink here this and to peck here this… A, main thing - go- kiloamperes of days down five somewhere before - Dora, and barefoot, barefoot - on the hot sand, on the edge of water…
- Yes that you, finally! - she said. - Indeed before your hands the principal medicine, inaccessible by others: sit down and discharge entire bitterness and salt, and the poison of these three years. Me whether you to teach!
Here it rang beside the old homeopathic pharmacy of Altmann, that against the bearing of allenebi and King George, minutes five spoke with some Of , dinning into to that of dose and breeding, and it ordered me to straight go there, to take away all these drops, sweet pastilles and, certainly, the so loved by me white grits in order to peck them in the mornings down the hungry stomach.
I kissed it down the farewell, caused taxi and already the minutes through ten she bought magic drugs. In all in them, by the way, there were the names of fairytale princesses - Melissa… … …
Furthermore, on the right hand in it lacked two it was digital, average nameless.
To the visitors of the pharmacy Of it was always they will cover by its excellent profile and invariably it smiled.
- Take here this and this directly now, it advised after third time it was started beside the explanations - when and as to assume to me medicines, and I looked against it politely and powerlessly. - Take now, there is no face on you. Sit down, sit here here.
I descended beside the old leather seat, moved beside the comfortable bay in the wall, and for long she sat, slowed examining buyers.
And entire time Of vigilantly it cast looks down me, turning to me victorious Roman profile with sincere Karim by eye.
- You could not cause taxi? - I asked finally when pharmacy it was empty, approached dinner break.
- I can cause taxi, he said. - Taxi are not problem… Where this you thus was unscrewed, which did fall with you? Stand, I will dispense by drops by good old the Valerians, I will twist to you nut.
It went away inside the quarters and immediately it moved out, stretching through the counter the small round cup, which was somehow deftly supported for the sake of three remained fingers. I took it and overturned mint- bitter contents beside the mouth.
For some reason the type of his this hand, beside which, as beside the tripod, I inserted conversely cup, he led me beside the familiar heavy sea, caused the strange trembling of heart, spasms before the throat and the flood tide of the annealing, intolerable love not at the point of the man even, but at the point of entire, surrounding me before this moment space. As if juvenile on the balcony of house on the contrary, and of whitish-blue flag, which with the slack indifference rinses sea breeze, and at the same time also the heavy old woman on the stool at the doors of entrance, nothing else but the latter, given to me by fate the favor, with which it cannot be part.
I was shamed earlier to describe this, because I do not know - as to arrange with this feeling, unworthy of writer, man of , proper to cooly and sensitively designate objects, phenomena and conditions.
I inserted cup beside the disfigured palm Of and discovered suddenly that the faintness, which overcame me recent weeks, somewhere was vaporized.
Yet without believing to itself, I was requested and, after forgetting about the taxi, it moved out down the street, it wandered down, down, downy to some of the snack bar, where before the soft half-darkness above the stable slowly was turned the barrel of stuck beyond vertical .
Cafe was completely emptily and hence, based on the street, flooded by meridional Mediterranean sunlight, it called to mind I am empty the scene before beginning play, first whether because the vast platan at the entry shaded and did make for the sake of secluded space inside, then because directly from the middle of several steps were raised beyond the small of with three tables…
The barrel of wearied above the fire already gained that golden color of the old amber, such as is poured from within well fried, thinly cut meat… it smelled fried it was rolled by waves from the half-darkness of cafe, being mixed with the odor of gasoline and the gusts of saline wind based on the sea.
I entered and said to fellow above the stable:
- Terribly it is desirable to eat!
- Be set there there, in port, it answered. - You will see street…
I, however, was raised on the steps down and villages at the point of the most comfortable, in wall, speckled by scratches and maculae, the plastic table, more shabby which hardly could be found before entire this city. It removed hat, bag based on the shoulder, threw down the adjacent chair… Conditioner here worked and quietly resounded radio.
Owner moved out because of the counter, he ran up on the steps and decomposed before me great carton tray with the simple instrument. This was a good sign, for sure here tastefully they prepared: when owner does not find to be spent by necessary beyond the vessels and the situation, this means that the people to it so comes in flocks.
Suddenly something was changed before the space: it got out of order, was shifted, crumbled.
Radio broke peaceful babble - and it is indiscriminate, but rigidly and abruptly addressed masculine vote.
Owner was thrown to the small receiver on the counter, knob, whereas increasing sound and before the first intonation before the vote of speaker we they immediately comprehended that…
It still adjoined volume, oscillating by head. Everything was already clear through the instant: half-hour ago in the center of Jerusalem on jaffa was exploded bus number fourteen, by the way, that, before which I drove recently down the recurrent roentgen.
Owner left radio switch oned and, oscillating by head, everything it sentenced: - Until what time, and, until what time? …
- Bring , it asked I, gathering on the mobile Jerusalem number - two or three words, to be certified that also those on the spot, and these - before the order… Another number… - I anything is fried… that in you today?
- Is a hen, fish… oh, what trout! Such trout, that you such nowhere ate!
- To , I said between several words beside the mobile, and lettuce…
He went away to shear based on the torsional barrel the small pieces of by long delicate knife, and thus far I persuaded friend crazy from the uneasiness, that the daughter simply turned off cell phone, he gads somewhere, not , cease, do not cry… - skimmed they beside the iron wide Soviet Union, and then it poured beside the plate by exact strong hackle.
- Seven killed, ten wounded! - it shouted to someone beside the kitchen. Something female vote from there answered it.
- Shear ! - I said
-… and without the grease…
I suddenly thought that the sea must be somewhere not far. To me it was wanted to immediately enter knee-deep beside water, by fingers and raising cup.
Owner brought the plate, upward filled for the sake of the small pieces of with the amber edge of grease, and for the first time above several weeks I was attacked the food, being annealed, being sufficient by mouth pieces, violently, by jerks, breathing, before the mouth already gelling the tastiest meat…
- That drink you will be? Coffee?
- Tea… green, with the…
It pleased me, as it runs up on the steps, before this there was also something recreation area, theatrical. And itself I on top as of the lie, controlled the past the ports cafe amusing, under hedgehog, by old women, before the freely dangling breeches of bright decolorations, and by ridiculous long-legged old men before spacious Shortts, with the grey plaits on the occiputs.
For some reason all calve - they seem me ridiculous. Too they settled in their city, they do not too note it, and at the same time already they do not note and guests, as the tenants of do not turn attention - who there on the corridors of the general apartment. We- that, in Jerusalem, we go on the string - do not note this city! - snow crust before the strictness keep…
Fellow brought on the small round tray the high sleeve, before which mysterious and deep-water was disturbed the dark green branch of mint - on the local “they were”, that imparts to tea the without anything not comparable, damping taste. Before the sleeve stood the ladle with the high, the tourniquet by knob.
I rapidly was aerated, but she continued to eat, extending pleasure, breaking away from small pieces, crumbling beside the plate and throwing out them before the mustard sauce. And when they became sodden, I threaded down the fork the small pieces of meat, wrapped them beside the grafts of cake saturated for the sake of sauce and slowly she transmitted beside the mouth.
Me so it was not desirable to hence go away…
- It is tasteful? - requested from the counter owner.
I silently rolled eyes to the ceiling. He sufficiently smiled.
- Already ten killed, said owner, removing plate and laying out down the table flat leather omasum with the score. - I of nineteen of those wounded.
- Route such… fourteenth… - I answered, he goes rarely, the people always by hammer…
Finally, I was raised, it stand, by chance inspecting, also, with the pleasure detecting that I cost rather well on the struts…
Beside the snack bar here became sunken immediately several men, in a familiar way greeting owner, obviously, the employees from the adjacent installations appeared to have dinner.
I was requested, and owner was despite the fact that occupied for the sake of new orders, he threw me after:
- You was not mistaken, that she did glance here, A?
- It was not mistaken, she said i. it put on hat it moved out…
At the entry beside the bank “By ” stood entirely young and very dark guard. Without moving, without dismantling hands above the back, it attentively followed, as I it approach.
- You will not prompt - in what side you have sea? - it requested i.
- Which this does mean? - it informed of. - Sea always before the West. Where you did learn?
- Before the conservatory, she said i.
- This it doesn't matter, it answered. - You will turn now at the point of the bearing and be lowered along this street to the end. You will be leant in the sea.
- You do see, I am simple - from Jerusalem.
- This I it doesn't matter, he said. And beside the back to me: - You already did hear…?
-… heard… - it answered I, without being turned.
And it is banal down past the seaside coffee houses under the dirtyish awnings, past the benches with the long ago unwashed shop windows, past the , with the three plastic tables remote down the street, against which on the old stools sat the people before the football shirts and rubber . Under one of these awnings I glanced - to buy the bottle of mineral water.
-… and he said, this millionaire, this rich person - “at that day, when my daughter moves out marry, precisely this wedding, before the same hall I play for the poor orphan!”
One of that sitting against the table - powerful, of the hellenic type man before the ringlets of hair, was discussed through my head with the owner of coffee house. Through the tightened blue awning the sun fell by azure reflexes beyond the table, beyond the bald spot of owner, beyond shoulders and persons of those sitting, down the fleshy ear of curly, with the lonely long link, which shakes and which flashes by cheap blue flame. Before the contrast to this entire landscape as a result of the limits of awning was flooded by bright orange light. And the collision of these two colors gave this saturated harmony of peace, as if two necessary at the point of each other substances supplemented each other. As if powerful glad element was divided once in order to be drawn off and to be drawn off again in the untiring holiday of existence.
-… Well i.?
-… and before the elegant hall, with the band, with the sea of colors, with such faults, that to you dream they cannot, were played two weddings: for its native daughter and for the poor orphan…
- - A -…
-… listen to, blockhead, my aunt Of sutured two identical wedding dresses! She awl their three weeks even three weeks cried from the happiness!
- In you will be located two thirty? - requested me owner. - What of it did cry?
- A therefore, blockhead you insensible, that because of similar here, righteous men as this millionaire, our people is still living…
- In Jerusalem act of terror, said owner, laying out to me copper delivery down the plastic saucer with the emblem “of Coca-Cola”. - Eleven killed, twenty wounded… so, does leave, your aunt did earn rather well on these dresses?
Everything was here densely agitated as the reflexes of blue and orange light. And nothing it could shake this barefooted seaside life, eased by saline breeze.
I was covered from the counter and comprehended - why gloomy youth- guard said: “you will be leant in the sea”: below I saw the wide even wall of the Mediterranean, down the form metallic and cold, with the boiling needles of dense mother-of-pearl ghost images.
I adjoined to step, somehow strangely feeling the authority above the struts timid another, which, as it was explained, were completely subordinated down my will. It is peaceful, I said to itself, it is peaceful, here and sea… go, receive your sea…
I raised the hem of cup and, raking away by struts long locks of algae, it entered beside water knee-deep, stretching roe and feeling this elastic, almost intimal …
Suddenly before water someone pecked me beside the roe. I shuddered, she pulled by strut, it was sloped and scrutinized beside water. of brisk small fishes encircled my struts, and first one, then another they attacked based on all sides, is sufficiently sensorily of roe. Here! Here still! Here! Ah! Lines!
I loudly ridiculed herself…
Two elderly women before the discovered bathing suits, from which by fritters threw out the over-cooked stomachs and breasts, indicatively exchanged glances, after being raised on its bottom millstones…
Courageous small fishes attacked increasingly more persistently, I , kicked they, they , I yelled beside the vote, she laughed loud… finally, beside revenge tempered the hem of cup, which rocked before water around my struts by heavy curtain. Moist saline air, saturated for the sake of sea sprays, was poured beside me by the generous pharynges, white disk within the burning sphere crept on the sky to the immense watering, after rolling from the horizon on the water smooth surface the path, which swells by the bubbles of light. Three yachts - two with the white, one with the yellow sail - soared between the elements weightlessly as darning needles.
On the coast lapped elderly woman before . And around it by circles spread black dog, such vast, that its back, and main thing, long shaggy tail before water seemed by the individual from the small head body, which belongs to any dragon from the antique myth. By powerful circles dog was carried around the woman, extruding, expelling it down the coast, probably, being harassed at the point of the mistress. But that was poured for the sake of laughter and shouted: - Slime-about- to, cease, ! However, well, give to have a swim!
On the shore two youths, one is somewhat older, another entirely youth, delicate and brittle as carved African figurine from the tree, tackle on the boat, similar, were packed, it is faster, on the dam two together they encountered it beside water. One arose aft with the long bilobate oar, another - on the breast before water - first conducted it between heads and the shoulders of bathers, then it climbed the nose, it sat there in Turkish, and they slid before the light of the low sun on the hovering narrow boat, black silhouettes before sparkling gold of waves. That it stood aft, it raked away by oar to the right first to the left besides the board, alternately waving first of one, then by its another red blade, as if it wove invisible net, infinite water thread, which braids the spindle of boat…
And again - sea, three yachts around the sky far, black dog with their boring devotion, two fishermen on the boat, this entire glad peace, rolled to me to the throat as heavy as wet hem, by bitter happiness, by this love, that I twice shouted beside the distance by strong, long vote before noise of the thumping beside the sand waves…
I was widened on the bottom millstone, she covered face for the sake of hat and through its dense black binding began to look beside the sky, trying to visualize the first minutes, those very first minutes, when the orphaned soul before the confusion looks back it , yet without knowing, where to fly, yet without believing that it is not tied more down this earth, down this sea, to these old houses and to trees…
-… well give already down them their this East Jerusalem, for the god, said in Russian one of the women. - I do not understand: people perish nearly each day…
- A Of he speaks - only give one down them, whereas they you very will want to … Moslems… in them entirely other values. You, here, you will send your of someone to detonate? …
- Light, grind to me to spin thoroughly, A? …
Through the mesh of hat I studied sky, trying to distinguish the invisible road, along which were now transmitted upwards the showers of several …
Little by little my body , is heavy, soul turned herself before the slow round-dance, was directed upwards, was accelerated…
Probably, I dozed minutes twenty. It awoke under the lazy conversation of all the same aunts, judging as far as the sounds, they they were going to go away…
- Flax, you … - she told before one, by the newspaper and by packages, and these old men, well was straight as children… One yesterday fits me after supper and speaks: - , I am completely lonely, sick and old. On me to no one to cry, me to no one to pity. I this to that, he says, that if you should someone kill, you can have available me completely…
Its friend began to laugh and something answered - already indistinguishably… they went away increasingly further… from time to time someone it slapped on water, being transported by words… Two adolescents, judging as far as the brittle votes, were stopped for the minute, hotly something proving to each other on Hebrew.
-… You do not understand! Listen to, this is this material, from the natural cages, that they are grown before the test tubes, down me dad explained, from the area of high biotechnology, above it the generally future!
I everything am stale, one cannot part with noise of the surf, for the sake of the rapidly and tenacious envelopping coast coolness… feeling a deep speechless rest, representing, as it is later, in the semi-dark room my dog - my nonverbal soul - it will jump up beyond the bed and will lean itself to the side, listening attentively in the play of my nerve heart.
Finally, it became entirely cool. I tightened hat and villages on the bottom millstone.
Solar disk continued to descend, being poured by crimson, sea it extracted from the depths to the surface blue and violet shadows; from somewhere climbed flanged long clouds and, after cutting down the incandescent sphere of the sun, suddenly beside the sky the long tongue of fire…
Those advanced twilight already shook before the sky by the bird bursts of the first weak stars. The hem of my cup have long ago it get dried… I on the shore it remained not soul…
Finally, I was raised, thoroughly by palm she shook down from the sand of sole, put on sandals and it began to climb the stairs to the embankment.
Suddenly rain - short and noisy, almost unprecedented for this season.
I was selected to the highway, she raised hand and sufficiently rapidly caught taxi, having easily arranged for with the driver down the twenty-five kopecks - to the central bus station.
Along the route it coagulated down the street allenebi, where lamps has already been ignited, and when we were stopped against the signal light, I it saw , which locks pharmacy and simultaneously conversing for the sake of the latter visitor.
Taxi driver suddenly looked beside the port and began to bawl: - , that audibly, ? - the question, which they do not here in detail answer, possibly, because beside each following minute audibly anything new.
Continuing to smile against client latter in the day as far as the excellent side of its face, it covered to us other, bent by horror, waved by hand, something wished to say, but here fell green and we jerked further.
- My army friend, did say taxi driver, it did see, as they did adjust him in Lebanon? And here, the smile of fate, that you will say: in war it survived, and girl this its, glorious girl, took and died.
- From what? - it requested i.
- So, it is simple… - he said, some illness…
And it turned on Lewinsky. To the left emerged and passed us two tadpoles on the motorcycle: girl - improbably delicate, with the half-naked back, by flexible hands braided her friend, and on its bright, sharpened shoulder by mysterious brand blackened intricate tattooing.
- Mad… - said taxi driver. - Look, that they make, these mad. Life by them is inexpensive. Here and so you do not know - when you take off down air. It did hear today - in Jerusalem?
It adjoined velocity and overtook pair. And minute they rushed before us, only to the right, so that I saw its flexible back with the sphere of helmet on the head.
My nerve heart was beaten freely and calmly.
Before the yellow light of lamps everything was washed by recent short rain - highway, motorcycle, their helmets. And its dark-comlexioned shoulder with the web of tattooing flashed just as this road, helmets and motorcycle and it was, it seemed, produced from some new highly technological material, above which, certainly, future.
Boris 's pictures
Texts and the photograph © of 6001-2008DINA of ruby.
Design and the imposition © Of Pasternak
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