10 Positive Approaches to Your Friend's Same Old Problem

Friendships can be a lot of fun when things are goingsharing his or her innermost feelings, respect those
honky-dory on both ends, but what about when onefeelings by allowing them to flow.
keeps coming up with the same old problem over and6. Listen: Use reflective listening. Ascertain what it is
over and over again? It may strain the relationship. Youyou're hearing and clarify if you need to, by doing this it
may feel like, oh no, here we go again, that same oldsends the signal that you understand or at least that
stuff. Apparently it's not the same old stuff for theyou're trying to understand.
other person because they are still struggling with the7. Learn: Every friendship carries lessons and
same issue, so what can you, as friend do?everyone can learn from them. Some of the most
10 Positive Ways to Deal with That Same Oldvaluable lessons in life are taught through real
Problem:friendships. These lessons are not a one way street,
1. Never say: Oh, that again! It's a real turn off and itthey go both ways. Learn from each other.
invalidates your friend's feelings. It may be the same8. Listen: Don't just hear the words, but really listen to
old, same old; however, it's rearing its ugly head andthe underlying message and whatever you do, don't
needs to be dealt with. You may be the only persondeny your friend's feelings. Denying their feelings can
who may be able to direct him or her to seekfeel like you're belittling them.
professional help.9. Be honest: Being honest can hurt a friendship or put
2. Listen: Maintain that eye contact that says you careit on the rocks. When being honest be considerate and
about what's going on with your friend. Turn that TVuse tact. Think before you speak, if you need to write
off, put that book down, turn that cell phone off or putdown notes before putting out your real thoughts, by all
it on silent, please.means do so, because once they're out you can't take
3. Don't judge: Don't be quick to judge, that's the lastyour words back.
thing your friend needs. The reason your friend is10. Listen: You will want someone to listen to you when
coming to you is because he or she is feelingit's your turn.
confused about an issue. So what if it's the sameThere's an old saying that says, "If you want to have
issue, it's real.friends, then be a friend". True friendships take work
4. Listen: Don't zone out, yes, you've heard that partand depending on how much effort you put into your
already, but whatever you do, don't give thatrelationship, is how much you will get out of it. With
glaze-over look. It looks like an 'I don't care' look.good friendships, the odds are higher that someone will
5. Allow: Give your friend the space and time to vent,be there for you when it's your turn to cry.
cry, talk, or sob. Apparently your friend feels safe in