Bold New Trends in Adoption

What makes a single mom struggling to start up aeverything was completely destroyed, including the
new business, adopt a hard-to-place, "special needs"children's beds and toys.
child from another country? Why would a perfectlyNow what was the connection and motivation that
happy, healthy, and content family take on a Downmoved the Buckley's to adopt these two young girls in
syndrome child with heart complications, when thethe first place? Lorraine's dad was doing some
boy's own mother chose to give him up at 6 weeks ofvolunteer work to build a home for an old Air Force
age? And why would a New York family rescuebuddy, who had later turned to missionary work. While
three frail and traumatized orphans from the ravagesswapping time with other contractors to save his
of Liberia's second civil war?buddy money, Lorraine's father met yet another
We asked ourselves these questions as ourmissionary family in the area. That family had already
foundation's Board reviewed the grant requests fromadopted one of the children from that Liberian
these families. When most people hear the termorphanage, by the name of George. George had been
'adoption,' we tend to think about couples faced withspared from the attack on the orphanage by being in
infertility, or couples who are trying to put theirthe US on tour with the Liberian Boy's Choir. It took a
step-families together to strengthen their family bond.year for George to get up enough courage to ask the
These first three grant requests to The Orphanmissionary family to try to find his sister, who was also
Foundation bore no similarities to those stereotypicalliving in that orphanage. The family was in shock. They
images.never even knew he had a sister! The family agreed
The Smith Case - Californiaimmediately, found his sister Mala, and brought her to
Madeleine Smith, the first recipient of an adoptionthe States.
assistance grant from our Foundation, is a veryWhen the Buckley's went to visit Lorraine's parents
interesting woman. She describes herself as having aduring the December holidays of 2004, they also met
big heart, with an even bigger pile of bills. When shethe other missionary family, and the reunited siblings,
found her way to our Foundation, she was in theGeorge and Mala. The plight of these children thrust
process of adopting Dang Jian, a "special needs" childthem into motion. Mala asked the Buckley's if they
from China. The name she chose for the 4-year oldwould help find her two roommates from the
boy is "Elijah." She describes Elijah as a wonderful childorphanage, Patience and Naomi. The Buckley's not
who loves to play outside, and is especially fond of toyonly found them, but by October 2005, the girls were
cars. His fifth birthday will be in December, so she'son their way here to their new home with the
planning a very big celebration when he arrives.Buckley's in New York.
But that is only a small piece of the story. Dang JianAs fate would have it, when Lorraine's father and
was placed in the "special needs" category by hishusband went to pick-up the girls, Naomi's parents
China orphanage, and given to an adoption agency inbrought her brother Abrous to the Liberian orphanage
Oregon to place. Dang Jian is missing his right ear,when they came to see Naomi off. Abrous' parents
which is accompanied by marginal hearing on that side.asked that the Buckley's take Abrous as well as his
Adding to that malady are various urinogenital andsister Naomi. It wasn't safe for any of them in Liberia,
colorectal problems. These factors, along with his age,and the parents were not only living in abject poverty,
also put him in the "hard-to-place" category oftheir situation was made even worse by Abrous'
adoptions. And what does that mean? He was givenfather being severely injured in a work accident. But in
this one last chance to be adopted before he wouldthat first round of adoptions, the Buckley's only
be permanently institutionalized in China.succeeded in bringing the 7 and 9 year old girls back to
If China and the adoption world considered Elijah'sNew York. Abrous had already been relinquished to
problems as significantly daunting, why would a singlethe orphanage, but he was on a waiting list to get in,
mom struggling to grow a start-up music servicesand of course there was the mound of official
business, step in to rescue him? Good question. Butpaperwork required, and all the money that had yet to
wait, there is still another page to this story.be raised. Imagine that - on a waiting list to get into an
Elijah will be Madeleine's third "special needs" child thatorphanage!
she has adopted! And she also has a 22-year oldWhen they brought the two girls home to New York,
college student son, Donovan. Madeleine's otherAbrous returned home with his parents to wait for an
adopted children include her 7-year old son Michael,opening at the orphanage. Luck finally prevailed, and at
from Bulgaria, and her 3-year old daughter Hana, fromthe end of August, Abrous was one of 100-plus
Guatemala. And just to make this random act of lovechildren admitted to the orphanage. The Buckley family
more difficult on her, Madeleine decided she had toimmediately went into motion trying to raise the money
move from her 2-bedroom apartment to a 3-bedroomthey needed to rescue Abrous, and once again, they
apartment to make sure that there was enough roomreentered the adoption process. Nearly 14 months later,
for Elijah in his new home.in December of 2006, their documents were finally
Madeleine discovered Dang Jian, when a friendclear to send to Liberia, and the monies were almost all
emailed her that she saw Dang Jian's story on anin place to cover the country fees and other adoption
adoption agency's website, and described hiscosts. As of July 2007, they are still waiting for word
impending fate. Madeleine found out that someone hadon the case, and final passport clearance. The
put up an anonymous donation to help offset part ofBuckley's are hoping that the adoption petition is either
the adoption expenses, and that started Madeleine'sin the Liberian courts or will be there very soon.
wheels in motion. With domestic adoptions averagingWhat did they want from The Orphan Foundation?
$18,105 currently, and almost double that internationally,Financial help to complete the adoption. The families
due to travel costs, document translations and otherwere all asked to go through the same United States
country specific requirements, this was the openingadoption agency, which resulted in additional processing
break she needed. This was her chance to give Elijahfees of $1,800. The Buckley's were now running out of
a home, and she'd worry about the rest of his livingsources to tap for quick financial help, and were
and medical needs when he was in her care.becoming more anxious and desperate in the eleventh
Madeleine has since arranged for the UCLAhour of Abrous' rescue. Another unanimous vote from
Craniofacial Center to replace Elijah's missing ear. Allthe Board, and another lost child in the world was sent
she wanted from The Orphan Foundation was enougha lifeline.
money to finish her legal paperwork with the State ofThese were definitely not the stories that we
California, get the legal documents translated intoexpected to see in our first three grant requests.
Chinese and certified, and have enough left over toWhere was that stereotypical family that was starving
pay her travel expenses to China to bring "Elijah"for a child of their own, but left barren by some cruel
home.twist of biological fate? Where was that known
When we asked her why she was doing this, sheconnection between the parties that used adoption to
simply repeated what she said earlier - she has a bigsolidify a new marriage and family? These weren't
heart. The only anchor on that big heart seems to bechildless parents looking to fill an empty space in their
that big pile of bills she's managed to build in theheart, or stepparents coming in to secure the bonds of
process. Our Board could not have agreed more, andtheir new family. These were a whole new breed of
voted unanimously to grant her the money.parents, with a whole new agenda and view of life.
The Cancilla Case - CaliforniaOur 12-person Board looked at each other in
Mary and Warren Cancilla, along with daughterastonishment. We just could not get our heads around
Annalise, seemed truly overjoyed about 6-week oldthis left-turn in our world views. We were seeing
Harrison's arrival. Harrison would be that new brotherentirely different passions at play, complete with an
for Annalise, and the perfect one boy, one girl familyunfaltering commitment to see the long arduous
would arrive in a small, quiet California town. However,adoption process through to the end, so that they
this family portrait turns out to be a bit more uniquecould then begin on the really hard part of all this -
than that. Harrison was born with Down syndrome,raising children with some very special needs.
with the added rare heart complication called tetralogyWe told all three of these families that they are the
of Fallot.real heroes out there. Forget Superwoman, Batman,
Mary, a sign language interpreter, told us that they hadand Spiderman. Meet Madeleine, the Cancilla's, and the
been on the Down Syndrome Association of GreaterBuckley's. These are the kind of quiet heroes we pass
Cincinnati's waiting list for 2 years. This seemed hardlyon the streets each day, and had no clue that they
a "spur of the moment" decision. When the associationeven existed. They're made of the same mettle as
called to tell the Cancilla's that Harrison's motherthose courageous people, who rush into burning
decided to give him up, and they were on the top ofbuildings to save children, rescue a fallen soldier from
the list to receive a Downs syndrome child, they wereenemy fire, or run down a thief who snatched an old
overjoyed that their long wait was finally over.woman's purse. And then they want to quietly
What did they want from The Orphan Foundation?disappear behind their private lives, shying away from
Just some financial help with their adoption costs sothe cameras and lights of a press eager to exploit
that they could free up some money for the medicaltheir bravery and courage. These families don't even
needs that Harrison will be facing.seem to know what all the fuss is about. Wouldn't all
Another unanimous vote, and another unnoticedof us do the same?
random act of love from just a regular kind of familyPerhaps it was that small quote, nearly hidden at the
who chose to love a very special boy.top of our home page that led them to us (
The Buckley Case - New York"We ask that you not judge our success in terms of
When we talked with Lorraine Buckley she told us all"bottom lines." Instead, we ask to be measured by the
about the incidents that led up to their finding Abrous,number of "lifelines" we extend to the homeless
the brother of one of the two girls that they hadchildren of this world."
already adopted from an orphanage in Liberia - anPerhaps we were never alone in our mission to find
orphanage that had been overrun by soldiers duringthese children a family to love them, to cherish their
Liberia's deadly civil wars. A badly beaten orphanageworth, and to give them hope. Either way, bear
director managed to save the children from harm, bywitness to the birth of a whole new breed of family.
convincing the soldiers that some of the children mightMeet the new "tutelaries of hope," the real guardians
be their own. The soldiers confiscated all of theof our world's children. They know no bigotry, no
orphans' food, but allowed the children to vacate thedeception, nor bias of thought that would ever prevent
orphanage. The children walked for two days inthem from the simple act of loving a child that would
search of shelter, with at most, a handful of rice forotherwise be lost to the world. We think this is a bright
each day of their journey. The UN came to theirand shining light in the distant skies, and we choose to
rescue, and stepped in to provide them with blanketscall that light "hope ascending.
and food. Eventually the orphanage reopened, but