| Business books are full of ideas, but sometimes those | | | | 2. Become aware of incidents where there may be |
| ideas are hard for busy people like you to implement. | | | | some underlying concerns that are not explicitly |
| The beauty about emotional intelligence is that of | | | | expressed by others. |
| course some people are more gifted in this area, but | | | | 3. Make a note of possible emotions or feelings that |
| that the skills can be learned. It takes a little information, | | | | the other person may be experiencing. Keep an open |
| a willingness to experiment in a real work situation and | | | | mind and never assume, merely explore the |
| taking small steps to achieve success. | | | | possibilities. |
| Receiving positive feedback from friends and | | | | 4. Develop a list of questions to ask at your next |
| coworkers can be an enormous help when learning a | | | | encounter with that person. Try to make the questions |
| new skill. How then to learn effective empathy if you | | | | open-ended, that is, questions that cannot be |
| are one of those task-oriented managers who is | | | | answered by yes or no. |
| primarily focused on achievement? The good news is | | | | 5. Practice listening without interrupting. Wait until the |
| that your achievement orientation and focusing abilities | | | | other person is complete with their point of view |
| will help you in acquiring empathy skills. The bad news | | | | before offering yours. |
| is that it may not be natural at first. Fortunately, | | | | 6. Avoid being defensive in order to create an open |
| empathy is a learned capability and like other | | | | dialogue where possibilities can be explored freely. |
| competencies, it can be acquired. | | | | 7. Allow creative time for people to express opinions |
| Here are some steps to take to begin improving | | | | and ideas without judgment. |
| empathy as an effective management tool. Like all the | | | | 8. Practice active listening: always check out the |
| emotional competencies, it is better to practice with an | | | | meaning of what was said with the person speaking. |
| experienced executive coach who can monitor and | | | | Paraphrasing what was said helps to clear up |
| give you effective feedback. Reading a book and | | | | misconceptions and to deepen understanding. |
| taking a class can both help to gain a greater cognitive | | | | 9. Always bring focus back into the conversation. |
| understanding of what is involved. However, empathy | | | | Remember that optimal effectiveness is achieved by |
| skills must be learned experientially, that is, practiced in | | | | a combination of focus and empathy. |
| the field in real-time. | | | | 10. Work on achieving an effective balance of focus, |
| Ten Ways to Develop Empathy | | | | goal orientation and empathic listening. |
| 1. Keep a note of situations in which you felt you were | | | | Working with a seasoned executive coached trained |
| able to demonstrate empathy and a note when you | | | | in emotional intelligence can help you learn the skill of |
| felt you did not. Make a note of missed opportunities to | | | | empathy and become a more effective leader. |
| respond with empathy. | | | | |