| The basic act of finding closure is as simple as closing | | | | doesn't mean that you can't ever open it again to take |
| the door. Yet even as a young child, we denied the | | | | a peak or that you can't ever have it again. But it does |
| simplicity of it as we ignored the screams, will | | | | mean that you have to let it go as it was, because the |
| someone please shut the door? It was presumed we | | | | way it was, is surely gone. And given that for |
| were simply lazy, perhaps uncaring, or too preoccupied | | | | whatever reason it didn't work, it is probably good that |
| with other things, to close the door behind us. But were | | | | it can't be that way again. After all, it didn't work. |
| we lazy, or did we know something even back then | | | | Perhaps it wasn't meant to be, or that it was, but in a |
| that made us not want to completely close the door | | | | different form than the way it was. |
| upon entering? | | | | One door closes and another one opens. |
| Think about it. If you leave the door open, you don't | | | | Try thinking of it as an opportunity for something new. |
| have to declare whether you are coming or going. You | | | | Now that the past is where it should be, things that you |
| don't have to declare that you'll be staying inside or out. | | | | might not have noticed before, may look like real |
| You don't have to declare that your playtime is over or | | | | possibilities now. Letting the past go will give you the |
| not. But perhaps that lack of declaration is actually | | | | chance to stop looking back and begin looking forward |
| affecting those around you and your own decisions as | | | | into what your life has in store for you. What's exciting |
| well. | | | | about the future is that it is unknown and has the |
| As a child, though, it was mostly about me and the | | | | potential to be great! |
| here and now, without much regard to anything else. It | | | | How to decide if it's time for closure: |
| was about getting the most out of the minute, perhaps | | | | Write down what it is that you're holding onto and read |
| at all costs. And if it meant not being 100% in all areas, | | | | it aloud. Then ask yourself these questions: |
| but could still leave all options of fun open, than so be it. | | | | 1- When I think about what I'm holding onto, do I feel |
| As an adult though, this form of leaving the door open | | | | happy or do I yearn for the past? |
| really does have a cost, because as long as it is left | | | | 2- Is what I'm holding onto helping me to move forward |
| open, your mind always has the option of going back | | | | in my life? |
| out. | | | | 3- What will be missing in my life if I let this go? |
| As adults, we find that closure is difficult. The act of | | | | 4- What can I gain if I let this go? |
| simply closing the door on something that once | | | | If you're unsure about why you're hanging on, then it is |
| created happiness, even if it hasn't in a very long time, | | | | probably time to let go. |
| seems so final and sad. Even if the present situation | | | | There are several ways to find closure, but it depends |
| causes turmoil, we convince ourselves that holding | | | | on your personality and what the situation is. Here are |
| onto its' memory is actually easier. Less painful. After | | | | some suggestions: |
| all, finding closure on a relationship we still yearn for, | | | | 1- Sometimes it is as simple as declaring it aloud, |
| would just be a lie, wouldn't it? Hearing that door slam | | | | though you may need to write it down or tell a friend |
| would mean putting an end to something you weren't | | | | to help you stay focused. |
| ready to end. Even if you're almost convinced that the | | | | 2- Call the person you need to let go of. Acknowledge |
| happiness that was may never return, you find | | | | all the good reasons for holding on in the first place |
| yourself still struggling with letting it go. | | | | and then declare why you need to let go. |
| If you've already lost your job, or the relationship has | | | | 3- If you can't speak to the person, write a letter and |
| already failed, than what are you truly holding onto? | | | | mail or e-mail it. |
| You may believe that because you are doing other | | | | 4- Find something new that you can focus on in its |
| things to keep yourself busy, you feel you've let it go | | | | place. Something that you can use as a positive |
| and are moving on. The question is: are you? Usually, | | | | replacement. |
| though not always, you will need to actually do | | | | Remember that the reason for closure is to be able to |
| something to complete this act of closure. Something | | | | appreciate the positive things the future holds for you. |
| that declares you are ready to put the past in the past. | | | | So think positive and create mental images of what |
| Closure, although it sounds final, doesn't have to be. It's | | | | great things may be coming your way. |
| a simple act of letting the past be just that. The past. It | | | | Life is a game, so get off the bench and start playing! |