How Being Polite Can Be Insensitive to People with Disabilities

Growing up, we are taught that it is not polite to stareworry if you use a common expression such as
at someone with a disability. However, we are sosaying to a person who is blind, "see you later" or to
paranoid that we will mess up and stare that we don'tsomeone who is a wheelchair user, "let's go for a
dare even look at the person.  As a result, our wellwalk".
intended politeness inadvertently renders people withTell a person who is blind when you enter and exit a
disabilities invisible. It is a tale of two extremes. Eitherconversation.
people with disabilities are stared at or we don't look atOffer assistance but do not force help on anyone.
them at all.Think "assist" not "insist".
You have probably witnessed or experienced firstDo not lean on or take control of a wheelchair without
hand a child pointing at someone with a disability andthe owner's permission.
asking the adult they are with, "What's wrong with thatCHANGING LANGUAGE
person?" Typically the adult responds by grabbing theOne of the most important elements to keep in mind
child's hand as quickly as possible and then gives awith our use of words is always keep the person first.
powerful "shhhh". Now the kid is scared half to deathIn the list that follows you will notice that the person will
and we wonder where we get the message of howalways come before the descriptor. It is also best if
we are to treat people with disabilities.you do not use the word "the" before descriptors,
So what could we do? Kids are curious so we shouldsuch as "the mentally ill or the deaf", etc...
provide them with information and not frighten them. You may wonder why it is so significant to place the
In as simple terms as possible, do your best to explainperson first; after all, doesn't it convey the same
your perception of the situation. For example, youmeaning? No, it does not.
might say that the person is using a wheelchairOutdated or Offensive
because their legs are too week or they haveAcceptable and  Appropriate
cerebral palsy and their legs don't work like ours.Disabled, Handicapped
CHANGING OUR BEHAVIORSPerson with a disability
Many of us are so afraid of saying or doing the wrongRetarded, Mentally ill
thing that we make the biggest mistake of all and sayPeople with a developmental or cognitive disability
or do nothing, thus furthering the isolation that manyHearing impaired
people with disabilities experience. Here are a fewPeople who are deaf or hard of hearing
suggestions that may improve the quality of ourVisually impaired
interactions.People who are blind or partially sighted
Greet the person as you would any other person. WeConfined to a wheelchair, Crippled
commonly greet one another with a handshake andWheelchair user or person who uses a wheelchair,
just because someone has a disability should not deterphysically disabled
us. In the event someone holds their left hand out toMidget
shake, follow their lead, as they may not have full useLittle people, LP, person of short stature
of their right hand. If the person is blind, wait for themNormal
to hold their hand out. If you are uncertain it is okay toPeople without a disability, non-disabled
wait and follow their lead.Approximately 19% of the U.S. population has a
Speak directly to the person with the disability. If thedisability (US Census Bureau, 2008).  However, most
person uses an interpreter or aide, direct all of yourdisabilities are not obvious so you may not be aware
conversation to the person, not to their interpreter orof just how many people may be impacted by your
aide.words and action.
Do not speak louder or slower. If someone is blindMost people are well intended and do not want to
there is no need to shout, remember, they are blind notcause harm to anyone.  Yet sometimes unknowingly
deaf. This also applies to people with cognitive orour words and actions do just that. What we intend to
developmental disabilities.be polite may end up being insensitive. We end up
Refer to the disability only when it is relevant to themaking lots of people invisible and the saddest part is
discussion.that we think we are being nice.
Use of Common expressions. There is no need to