How Do You Support Yourself?

p>"You can't help someone get up a hill without getting- Your life feels richer and fuller. As you form more
closer to the topyourself."connections, you recognize that each one, whether
--H. Norman Schwarzkopfthey're acquaintances, colleagues or intimate friends -
Is it better to go it alone or navigate life with a supportserves a distinct and meaningful purpose in your life.
system of friends, colleagues and people in yourSound impossible? It's not. Start by thinking through the
community who care about you and what you do?following questions and you'll have a good sense of
Most people probably nod their heads and say, "Yes,how to build a network that fits your lifestyle:
of course; establishing a support system is important."- What does support look like to you? How do you
But in practice, our tendency is to believe thatfeel when you're being supported?
operating alone shows resilience, strength and a stiff- What's working in your current support system?
upper lip.What's missing?
What constitutes a support system? It's a collection of- What "rules" do you make up about asking for help?
friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances whoFor example, I recognized a rule that it was only okay
show a keen interest in listening, discussing and guidingto hire a babysitter for my son when I needed
- without judgment. "Without judgment" is key. Youcoverage for work - rather than for fun or self-care.
can't support and judge at the same time. It's not- What does your ideal support network look like?
possible; if someone tells you it is, run the other way -How many people? What environments? How would
fast!you ideally communicate and interact with your friends,
What stops us from building a strong and vibrantfamily or colleagues?
network? Perhaps we want to show the world that- If you could order the perfect support system, what
we're strong and invincible. After all, we think, wouldn'twould change? How would you benefit? Get clear -
asking for even occasional assistance give thewrite it down and post the description in a prominent
perception that we're vulnerable? We fear thesespot.
consequences - whether they're real or imagined. AndImagine receiving an abundance of support. Imagine it
this hurts us - personally and professionally.at home, at work and anywhere else that's important
Yet cultivating a healthy support network nets manyto you. Imagine knowing there's a safety net beneath
benefits:you at all times - people prepared to catch you if you
- You feel better on all levels - mentally, emotionally,fall and ready to celebrate you succeed.
physically and spiritually.Most importantly, remember that life is not a solo act.
- Your productivity increases. Look at any successfulWe're meant to be interdependent, to connect with
person and you'll see an individual surrounded by anothers, to form communities of like-minded people.
active support network of friends and advisors.So get out there! Weave a strong, healthy support
- Your health improves. When we rely on a supportnetwork and watch yourself grow and succeed
system, our stress decreases and we rely less onbeyond your wildest dreams.
other props, including food, alcohol or overwork.