| Let's face it, it seems like people who are more | | | | Angelina Jolie for three seconds.) |
| outgoing have a lot more fun in life. They meet lots of | | | | After you feel comfortable looking people in the eye, |
| interesting people, get invited to all the parties, don't | | | | now it's time to say something. Just a simple "Hello", |
| have a problem getting dates, and overall just seem | | | | "Hi", "How's it going?" What you'll find is that people are |
| happier. | | | | starved for interaction as well. Often just a simple Hello |
| What to do if you're not outgoing? How can I become | | | | can start a train reaction, and the next thing you know, |
| more outgoing and have more fun? | | | | you're twenty minutes into a deep conversation. |
| I was shy like many people. I grew up in the country, | | | | When you meet people for the first time, the golden |
| and went to school in the city. It wasn't easy meeting | | | | rule is get their name. And if at all possible use it right |
| people. I was more excited to get back home and | | | | away. It's pretty simple really. "Hi, I'm Marc, what's your |
| stick my nose in a book for the night. I wasn't naturally | | | | name? Phil? Nice to meet you Phil." I usually lean |
| outgoing I was very shy. | | | | forward, or have an inquisitive look as if I'm trying to |
| But, then something clicked. I just slowly started coming | | | | confirm that their name really is Phil. Of course I'm kind |
| out of my shell. I started interacting with other people. I | | | | of hard of hearing, so I really do have to ask at least |
| found my inner flirt. Twenty years later, I still feel like an | | | | twice. As Emeril would say, "Bam!" you've now used |
| introverted, shy person, but most other people would | | | | their name twice in ten seconds. You look like a genius |
| call me very outgoing. I actually got excited while giving | | | | in their eyes. |
| a speech in front of 250 people. In fact, just last week | | | | Now if you really want to get good at being outgoing, |
| my ten year old asked me, "How do you always | | | | you have to get good at trivial conversations. The best |
| make friends wherever you go, I never can meet | | | | thing I can tell you is 3-1. Not 31. But three parts them, |
| people." | | | | one part you. If you engage them in conversation, and |
| One of the first things you can do is develop eye | | | | let them talk about themselves three times more than |
| contact. For many people, it's intimidating to look people | | | | you talk about yourself, you're doing great. Check out |
| in they eye. As soon as someone catches your eye, | | | | Dale Carnegie's classic Book, "How to win friends and |
| do you find yourself quickly looking away? Why not | | | | influence people". In 30 years, there hasn't been a |
| make a challenge to yourself, the next person you | | | | better book written on the subject. |
| meet, I'm going to look at them straight in the eye, smile | | | | All in all, to become more outgoing, it just takes |
| and count to three before I look away. You might | | | | practice. I have a ten year old who is more like I was, |
| have to try this a few times, but eventually you'll get | | | | very shy and introverted, and a four year old who |
| the hang of it. Trust me it's worth it. Do this for a week, | | | | meets everyone in the restaurant in about ten minutes |
| make a conscious effort to do it. (A hint if you're | | | | flat, so I've seen both sides. If you're not naturally |
| REALLY shy, don't try to do it to someone you find | | | | outgoing, it doesn't mean you can't become more |
| naturally attractive, instead do it with someone that | | | | outgoing and defeat your shyness. It just takes some |
| you're not attracted to at all, it just seems less | | | | practice, but trust me the practice is fun. You'll be glad |
| intimidating. I think it would be a blow to anyone's self | | | | you did it in no time. |
| esteem if they just couldn't hold eye contact with | | | | |