| When you read books on personal development and | | | | started: |
| articles about making your life better the emphasis is | | | | 1. Make a quick list of things you like or could like about |
| generally on the positive. | | | | this person. |
| You learn all about deciding what you want and how | | | | Be creative. The more reasons the better. |
| to get it. However you also need specific guidelines for | | | | 2. List the ways the person is like you. |
| dealing with situations when nothing seems to be | | | | This may be an eye opener because we often have |
| working despite your best efforts. | | | | very strong reactions to people who display |
| One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that | | | | characteristics we dislike about ourselves. |
| some people will dislike you no matter how wonderful | | | | The more reasons you come up with the easier it will |
| you are. The reasons why someone does not like you | | | | be for you to feel positive towards the other person. |
| may be incorrect, unfair or unjust. Yet they still affect | | | | This change in your non verbal communication will be |
| how that person deals with you. | | | | noticeable and will help ease some of the tension in the |
| I recommend a three step plan to deal with this | | | | air. |
| challenge: | | | | This is often when the dynamics of the relationship |
| 1. Penetrate The Peer Group | | | | can shift unexpectedly for the better. Deciding to like |
| Find the peer group of the person who dislikes you | | | | the other person regardless of how they are behaving |
| and seek to make friends with people in this group. | | | | is the first step to making this happen. |
| Build a positive reputation with these people one at a | | | | At the very least you will feel better. And when you |
| time and your public image will shift in the eyes of the | | | | feel better it is a lot easier to find solutions to deal with |
| person who you are having trouble with. | | | | these tricky situations. |
| This is like doing your own P.R. campaign directly to | | | | 3. Take Baby Steps Towards Greater Rapport |
| the people who have the most influence over the | | | | With someone who dislikes you the same rules of |
| opinions of the person who dislikes you. Peer group | | | | rapport still apply only you need to have more |
| pressure is a powerful way to change the perceptions | | | | patience. |
| of a group member. | | | | Aim to make slight gradual progress with the person in |
| 2. Find Reasons To Like The Person | | | | question and over time you can shift the relationship |
| When someone clearly dislikes you what usually | | | | from negative to neutral and maybe even to positive. |
| happens next? You start to actively dislike that person | | | | And be kind to yourself if the whole situation still upsets |
| in return! | | | | you. It is perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable when |
| It becomes a feeding frenzy that can spiral out of | | | | someone dislikes you. However it is foolish to roll over |
| control very quickly. The other person sees your | | | | and play dead. |
| negative reaction to them and responds accordingly. | | | | Take charge of your communication with this person |
| You feel and see how much disdain they have for you | | | | and aim to improve the situation. The little progress you |
| and you respond with more hate. Like a game of | | | | make will boost your confidence and help you |
| tennis the negative feelings bounce back and forth. | | | | communicate even better with everyone else you |
| You can break this cycle. How? By deciding to find | | | | ever meet. |
| ways to like the person. Here are two ways to get | | | | |