| Where I live there seems to be a a growing population | | | | person back to a polite discussion. You can do this by |
| of rude and vulgar people. And no matter how hard I | | | | asking highly specific questions that force the person |
| wish for things to change it is not going to happen. It is | | | | to slow down and think before replying. |
| up to me to change how I think and feel about these | | | | If you honestly did not do anything to encourage the |
| people. The same applies for you. | | | | rudeness you are clearly dealing with someone who |
| 1. What does it mean when someone is rude? | | | | habitually talks in this way. |
| Your initial angry reaction may be to think the person is | | | | Unless you can change the person you just have to |
| a moron but that only makes matters worse as it will | | | | accept him as he is. |
| comes across in the way you talk. | | | | 3. What can you do? |
| I prefer to view such behavior as evidence that the | | | | Ultimately you have a choice - avoid dealing with |
| person is doing the best he can with what he has. This | | | | vulgar people where possible or join them! Only joking! |
| belief makes it easier for you to accept the person | | | | Seriously though if you cannot avoid them you need to |
| even though you may not like his approach. | | | | remember how to take charge of conversations. Plus |
| Look for the good in people and you are a lot more | | | | you need to ensure you remain strong and unaffected |
| likely to find it. | | | | by their manner. |
| 2. Is it your fault? | | | | In the meantime you can achieve quite a lot by |
| When you encounter vulgarity it is worth pausing to | | | | distinguishing between the person and the way they |
| ask yourself have you encouraged this behavior. | | | | deliver their message to you. |
| Maybe you played along with this gutter talk in the past | | | | Look beyond their words to the real message they |
| so the person thinks you do not mind it. | | | | are trying to convey. |
| Or perhaps you have done something that has | | | | We all have a bad day now and again maybe you |
| annoyed the person so much they cannot control their | | | | just bumped into them while they were stuck at a low |
| anger and annoyance. | | | | point. |
| In either of these cases it is best to slowly lead the | | | | |