| When a conversation is not working out there is the | | | | correct the situation. |
| potential for massive frustration or a breakthrough | | | | Two minds are better than one! |
| depending on how you look at it. | | | | 5. Ask for help |
| 1. Question your assumptions about the other person | | | | If you often have trouble conversing with a particular |
| Perhaps the breakdown in communication is based on | | | | person get advice from someone that knows the |
| rumors that have no basis in reality. You may be | | | | other person. Very often by doing this you will get new |
| unfairly judging the other person and filtering every | | | | insights you can act on right away. |
| word he speaks because of a false image of who he | | | | And someone who is removed from the situation will |
| really is. | | | | have the objectivity you need to make sense of the |
| Have you ever harshly judged someone and found | | | | chaos you have created. |
| out later you were completely in the wrong? Make | | | | 6. Take a break |
| sure you are not making the same mistake again. | | | | Sometimes the timing just is not right. Reschedule the |
| 2. Ask for clarification | | | | conversation for a later time when you are better |
| Ask the other person to fill in the gaps that are causing | | | | prepared, more rested or not as distracted by other |
| you to lose your grasp on the train of thought. | | | | issues. |
| Asking questions demonstrates your interest in a | | | | Forcing something to work out when the odds are |
| positive outcome and is to be encouraged. Never | | | | stacked against you is difficult and often unnecessary. |
| worry about looking stupid for asking for more | | | | Get back to it later when you are feeling more |
| information. The smartest people value information and | | | | capable and you will make better decisions and with |
| are always ready to ask for more. | | | | less effort. |
| 3. Are you really listening? | | | | 7. Aim for good not perfect |
| Check that you are really paying attention and not just | | | | Sometimes we hold such high standards for ourselves |
| pretending to be. Change your posture, pay close | | | | that we can never win. If you demand 100 per cent |
| attention to how the other person is talking and | | | | success at all times you are setting yourself up for |
| demand more of yourself. | | | | constant disappointment. Do your best and aim to learn |
| Become more attentive simply by choosing to be. | | | | and improve from every experience. |
| 4. Address the issue directly | | | | Be kinder to yourself and you will be more relaxed in |
| Be direct and say aloud that you feel the conversation | | | | all of your dealings with other people. And ironically |
| is not working out. Often the other person will agree | | | | your performance will improve because you are not |
| and together the two of you will be able to work to | | | | being so hard on yourself. |