| A mother in one of my parenting classes expressed | | | | put his arm through a sleeve, he is not only being |
| dismay that her baby did not like books. Ella, an infant | | | | treated with respect, he is also hearing words that are |
| less than a year old, would not sit still to be read a | | | | pertinent and meaningful to him. Most importantly, he |
| story. Even when Ella was allowed to turn the pages | | | | learns that communication is a two-way street and |
| herself she reportedly squirmed and indicated her | | | | that his participation is desired. |
| disinterest. When I heard this story, two different ideas | | | | Model. We want our children to learn our language. So, |
| occurred to me. The first was that Ella was an active | | | | it is helpful (and feels more natural) to speak to an |
| infant, who seemed to be working assiduously on her | | | | infant in our normal voice, trusting that we can be our |
| gross motor skills. She was a baby on the move who | | | | authentic selves with our child and do not need to talk |
| might not want to sit still for long, even when | | | | 'down' to him. |
| presented with a warm lap and bright pictures on | | | | Try to understand. When our child begins to vocalize |
| cardboard. This behavior is well within the range of | | | | we can encourage him by working to understand |
| normal and, in a sense, much easier to understand than | | | | what he is saying. If we cannot figure it out, we can |
| a ten-month-old sitting still to look at pictures when the | | | | honestly admit, "I'm trying to understand, but I don't |
| tactile world is at her feet. | | | | know what you're saying." The child appreciates our |
| The second thought was that Ella might be absorbing | | | | attempt to understand and the words and tone |
| some of her mother's anxiety. Sarah, Ella's mother, is a | | | | encourage him to keep trying to express himself. |
| writer, an expressive, open woman who candidly | | | | When we do understand a word, we can respond by |
| shares her worries in class. One of her worries was | | | | modeling the use of the word in a complete sentence. |
| that Ella would never enjoy books, and that she might | | | | For example, if our baby says "ball," then we might |
| never learn to read or appreciate language the way | | | | respond, "Ball? You see the ball in that basket?" |
| her mother did. Sarah's projection of her own anxiety | | | | Let a baby stand uncorrected. It is important to refrain |
| regarding her daughter's future literacy may have | | | | from correcting toddlers when they begin talking. If a |
| made it impossible for Ella to settle comfortably into a | | | | toddler calls a stuffed bear a "dog," we can encourage |
| book. | | | | the child to continue speaking by responding, "That |
| A few weeks later, Sarah excitedly shared a | | | | looks like a dog to you," rather than saying, "No, that's |
| realization. Sarah suddenly understood that Ella, who | | | | not a dog, it's a bear." A child will learn to differentiate |
| had been making one-and-two-syllable 'baby sounds' | | | | between dogs and bears soon enough. |
| for quite awhile was attempting to communicate with | | | | In the book, Learning All the Time, author and educator |
| each and every utterance. Each of Ella's vocalizations | | | | John Holt explains why children's early language |
| actually meant something. Ella may not have been | | | | mistakes should be left alone. Asks Holt, "If you were |
| interested in books, but she was demonstrating an | | | | just learning, in a foreign country, to speak a foreign |
| early ability to express herself with words. | | | | language, how would you feel if everyone around you |
| Sarah's story illustrates a common worry among | | | | corrected every error you made?" Holt observes that |
| parents: namely, the usually unfounded fear that a child | | | | the vast majority of people would be intimidated by |
| will not develop normal language skills. Recalling the | | | | such hyper criticism. The ordinary person "would wind |
| fact that Einstein did not speak until he was three | | | | up saying little or nothing-like a man I know who after |
| years old seldom brings comfort when a parent is | | | | six or seven winters in Mexico, cannot speak twenty |
| nervous about a toddler's abilities to speak, read, write | | | | words of Spanish because he can't bring himself to |
| and go to college. But, just as parents can trust a | | | | say anything unless he is sure he is right." |
| normal child to begin crawling and walking when he is | | | | Sharing books and stories. Make reading time pleasant |
| ready, they can also trust a child's unique | | | | and relaxing by letting go of any agenda and following |
| developmental timetable when it involves language. | | | | your baby's lead. Allow him to turn pages, look at |
| Unless there is a problem with hearing or sight (or a | | | | books upside down or backwards if he chooses to, |
| neurodevelopmental disorder like autism), children will | | | | stay as long as he wishes on a particular page, and let |
| speak and read when they are ready to speak and | | | | you know when he's finished. |
| read. Before that time, they are internalizing the | | | | Tell stories! Even when babies are impatient with |
| language models in their environment. Learning | | | | books, they will often enjoy listening to a parent or |
| disorders, like dyslexia, are occasionally discovered in a | | | | grandparent tell a story (and they don't mind hearing |
| child's early school years and are best addressed at | | | | lame ones...believe me). |
| that time. | | | | After several weeks in class learning from Sarah and |
| Here are some ways to encourage a child's language | | | | Ella's experience, I was gratified when Julie, another |
| development. | | | | mom in the class, shared an anecdote. On a recent |
| Talk to your infant. Parents should open the door to | | | | afternoon, Julie took her three-year-old niece for a |
| communication with their child from their first days | | | | walk around the neighborhood. The little girl picked up |
| together. Telling a newborn we are picking her up | | | | an acorn off the sidewalk and held it out for her aunt |
| before we do it; talking an infant through a diaper | | | | to look at. "Look! A street shell!" she exclaimed. Julie |
| change and giving time for her to respond; sharing | | | | proudly reported that she held her tongue and did not |
| each step out loud to a baby as we put her to bed: | | | | correct her niece's description of the acorn. By doing |
| these open, early communications will help an infant | | | | so, Julie allowed the child to revel in her discovery, |
| begin to internalize language. | | | | thereby encouraging her niece to go forward boldly |
| Talking slowly, but naturally, in short sentences about | | | | and experiment further with the beauty of language. |
| the events that a child is directly involved in will create | | | | For more 'parenting ideas that fly', please visit my blog |
| a much greater impact than, say, pointing to a random | | | | Elevating Childcare. |
| object and naming it. When an infant is asked to help | | | | |