| d="body"> | | | | Yep, life is good. We're on top of everything. We're in |
| That's what she would say. As I remember it from my | | | | constant touch with the rest of mankind 24/7. There's |
| years as a really short person, after you had cranked | | | | nothing we don't know or can't find out. Anyone can |
| the handle and lifted up the receiver, you'd hear this | | | | reach us at anytime - anywhere. We're always |
| female voice down at the telephone office say | | | | available to answer questions, pass on helpful |
| "Operatooor. Number pleeyazz." (I think that's how they | | | | information, make appointments, change schedules, |
| were taught to say it.) Then you'd give her the number | | | | rearrange priorities, relay juicy gossip, report problems, |
| you wanted to call - usually something complicated like | | | | broadcast dissatisfaction, and assimilate an |
| "Hi Shirley - 671, please" (or even "Doc Wykoff's office, | | | | encyclopedia's worth of pseudo-critical input with the |
| please"...) - and she'd move a plug to the right hole on | | | | push of a button or two. Twenty-four hours a day. |
| the switchboard and do whatever she had to do to | | | | Seven days a week. Fifty-two weeks... |
| make Doc's telephone ring. That is unless she knew | | | | ... yeah... we've sure come a loooong way, haven't we? |
| that Doc had gone out to the Strauss's for a house | | | | No, really. This IS better, right? I mean, if we weren't |
| call, then she'd let you know that she could connect | | | | able to have this immediate contact with the rest of |
| you there or that if you wanted, you could just wait | | | | the world, everything would crumble, right? Our lives |
| about a half an hour until he got back to the office and | | | | would disintegrate. Our family relationships would be |
| try again then. Talk about personalized service... | | | | shattered. Our friendships would vanish. Our |
| Those were the days of the party line. You'd have | | | | businesses would vaporize. We would self-destruct. |
| several - maybe even up to twenty or so - families | | | | Right? |
| sharing a single phone line. You'd know when you got | | | | Seriously, now. Can you even imagine what it would |
| a call by the number and length of rings you heard | | | | be like to have to step back into the dark ages of |
| coming from the telephone. Ours was two short rings | | | | communication? Those unnerving times - when you |
| if I remember correctly. You'd always know who was | | | | could just think or do what you needed to do without |
| getting a call on your party line by the number of rings. | | | | constant interruption? When you could cruise down the |
| And of course, if you wanted to be just a little snoopy, | | | | highway without the nagging thought that just talking on |
| you could quietly pick up the receiver on your phone | | | | the cell phone substantially increases your chances of |
| and "rubber". Yep, that's what they called | | | | being in an accident? When you could call a business |
| eavesdropping back then. Sort of tacky but actually a | | | | (during normal working hours of course) and |
| lot of folks did it and nobody seemed to care all that | | | | immediately talk to a real person? When you actually |
| much. Except for old Mrs. Snyder, that is. She could | | | | looked forward to getting a call because you knew for |
| get downright snotty about it at times. | | | | certain that it would be someone who you wanted to |
| Gosh, we've come a long way, haven't we? Now we | | | | talk with? When you could go for hours and hours out |
| can call just about anybody we want anytime we | | | | of contact with anyone other than the people who |
| want from anywhere we want. Have an urge to talk | | | | were the foundation of your life? Your family and |
| with your neighbor's second cousin Doris who is | | | | friends? When life was quieter, more relaxed and |
| vacationing on Isolation Beach, Florida while you're | | | | more satisfying? |
| zipping down the freeway at a breakneck 7 mph? | | | | Now really, I know that there can be a bunch of |
| Just do it. Want to check the current status of your | | | | advantages to our modern communications systems |
| investment in Ear Hair Removal Cream stock while | | | | but sometimes I think that perhaps "progress" may not |
| you're canoeing leisurely down the North Fork River? | | | | necessarily be as wonderful as we tend to believe it is. |
| Just do it. Want to... well, you get the idea. | | | | Number pleeyazz... |