| What is Self-Doubt? | | | | to perform, or even fear of success. The doubting |
| I am very familiar with self-doubt. I lived with it for | | | | thoughts begin to take over and the inner critic is eager |
| many years, buying into my inner critic and making | | | | and ready to help you rationalize your doubts. |
| way for fear to take over. Even though I was told by | | | | Fear is the accomplice of your doubts. The moment |
| my parents and mentors how capable I was, the | | | | the doubts arise, fear moves in and takes over. Fear |
| self-doubt kept me paralyzed, afraid to even make an | | | | lets you compare yourself to others and keeps you |
| attempt at something. I often felt not smart enough, or | | | | focused on what you cannot do rather than what you |
| good enough to even take the first step. I even | | | | can do. I recall when I returned to college at 30 how |
| believed that success was not meant for me. I look | | | | doubtful I felt at first. I saw all the energetic, enthusiastic |
| back on all the opportunities I missed out on and it is | | | | students, fresh out of high school with their minds intact |
| for this reason I write this article in hopes that you the | | | | and ready for learning and I saw myself as old and |
| reader can realize how illogical and damaging | | | | less capable. My doubts turned into fear and at some |
| self-doubt can be. | | | | point I wanted to quit - to give up and not even try. My |
| Self-doubt should be synonymous with paralysis. It is | | | | fears had such a hold on me that I was willing to throw |
| immobilizing and disables the sufferer, preventing him | | | | away a hopeful future. I became frustrated, sarcastic, |
| her from making strides in life. Think back to a time | | | | and closed off from the world. Luckily, my parents and |
| when you felt enthusiastic about a goal and as the | | | | my mentor recognized my fears and countered them, |
| time approached for taking that first step, the | | | | encouraging me to take the first step forward. |
| momentum began to slow down. That little voice inside | | | | Self-awareness is a critical step to overcoming fear |
| you head began to say: | | | | and removing doubt. When fear is allowed to |
| - Are you sure you can do this? | | | | dominate, all hope is lost. Sadly, we cannot even |
| - What happens if you mess up? | | | | recognize our fears and doubts thus they continue to |
| - Maybe you need to wait - maybe you're not ready | | | | control our lives. This is why having mentors, coaches |
| As the days went by you began to doubt your ability | | | | or people close to us are an essential part of achieving |
| to get the task done and before long things were | | | | success. The more we know about ourselves, the |
| moving in slow motion. You felt stumped, pressured, | | | | more in tune we are about what holds us back. The |
| like all eyes are on you. Then you quit. | | | | more aware we are the more empowered we are to |
| When feelings of doubt are allowed in our lives, we | | | | do something about it. We can begin to identify the |
| are unable to achieve our goals or even conceive | | | | source of our fears. Is it coming from a past trauma, |
| them. Doubt is that inner voice that often lets us know | | | | the way you were raised, or is it a perception of the |
| how incapable we are of accomplishing something. | | | | present or future? Is it a lack of confidence? With |
| When we are confident we can drive away the | | | | becoming more self-aware, we are quicker to admit |
| doubts. However, when we are not, the doubts will | | | | our fears and handle life in a more productive way. |
| continue to dominate our thoughts, leaving us to feel | | | | Self-awareness triggers acceptance, which opens up |
| inadequate. That's right our thoughts! The thoughts | | | | the door for healing. This allows us to seek the help |
| take over and before long we begin to believe that no | | | | we need to deal with our fears and let go of doubt. |
| matter what we attempt it wouldn't amount to much, | | | | Do you know your fears? Are you aware of what |
| so why even bother? Over time this mentality begins | | | | holds you back? Take this time to look inside. Be true |
| to define us and we fade into the shadows. | | | | to yourself. This begins the process of letting go of |
| It all begins with a thought followed by an action or | | | | doubt. If not, allow a mentor or a coach in to give you |
| behavior. When we allow doubtful thoughts to control | | | | the insight you need to move forward. |
| our thinking process, we can miss out on many | | | | Letting Go Of Doubt |
| important opportunities in life. The doubts enable a | | | | We all have moments throughout our lives where we |
| pessimistic outlook and the ability to focus on the | | | | doubt ourselves. Many can let go of them and not |
| positive things in our lives is lost. Then the capacity for | | | | allow them to take over, while others fall victim to the |
| learning and growing is slowed down. Many become | | | | intrusive thoughts that undermine your ability to |
| cynical, depressed, or anxious and a life of mediocrity | | | | succeed. And remember they are all thoughts. So who |
| emerges with little hope for the future. Now, I'm sure | | | | keeps the thought in your mind? You do! Let's take a |
| this is not the life you plan for. | | | | look at how to let go of doubts. |
| Is self-doubt consuming you? Are you unable to stop | | | | The best way to let go of doubt is to build your |
| the doubtful thoughts? Is it interfering with your ability to | | | | self-confidence. This means feeling better about your |
| achieve? Begin to recognize these episodes and how | | | | own abilities. When you feel incapable and begin to |
| frequent they are. Become more aware of what the | | | | doubt yourself, fear is right around the corner just |
| doubts say and write them down. | | | | waiting to move in and reside in your psyche. Once |
| What Causes Self-Doubt? | | | | fear enters the subconscious, the negative talk begins, |
| We are born into societies where there are so many | | | | the self-criticism emerges and the vicious cycle |
| expectations we all have to live up to. | | | | continues. Here are some ways to build your |
| - There are certain developmental stages and levels | | | | confidence. |
| each of us are expected to reach from birth. If not we | | | | - Educate yourself in whatever it is you are trying to |
| are considered underdeveloped or slow | | | | accomplish. Take a course, attend seminars, |
| - We enter into the school system and expected to | | | | workshops, meet people in that field and network. The |
| complete elementary, middle, and high school. We | | | | more you know the more empowered you feel and |
| receive more popularity and recognition when we | | | | empowerment removes doubts. |
| excel | | | | - Associate with positive people who recognize your |
| - Our parents have their own set of expectations for | | | | abilities and encourage your efforts. Get their |
| us | | | | feedback about your ideas - most likely it will be more |
| - Our teachers have their expectations for us | | | | objective and beneficial. Avoid the negative folks. |
| - After high school we are expected to make a | | | | Negative people are also full of self-doubt and will |
| decision for a career and decide where we plan to | | | | work to bring you down to their level of insecurity. |
| acquire that skill - what school we will attend, what | | | | They will inject more doubt in you and your efforts can |
| level of education we want to have, what job title we | | | | seem futile. |
| want to hold. | | | | - Set realistic goals. Someone once said "when in |
| - Once we are ready to enter into the business world | | | | doubt take the next small step." Taking realistic steps |
| there are more expectations and successes to attain | | | | ensure that you will be capable of accomplishing the |
| - Then there are the expectations by society, the | | | | task and build your confidence in the process. If you |
| status, prestige, material possessions. Our society | | | | set unrealistic goals you most likely will fall short and |
| today measures success and achievement by one's | | | | this adds to level of self-doubt. With the |
| net worth. | | | | accomplishment of each realistic task, your confidence |
| In order to be considered functional or successful in | | | | will improve, your fears will subside, and your self-doubt |
| modern society the above standards are expected to | | | | will diminish. |
| be met. Children are hardly allowed to be children to | | | | - Learn to handle setbacks. In life there will be |
| run around freely with little fear. Instead they feel | | | | successes and setbacks. Of course you want to |
| scared to make mistakes. We live in an age of high | | | | hope for the best outcome but when disappointments |
| motivation and enthusiasm and where everyone | | | | arise or things didn't go as planned you have to see |
| seems to have an image of success. Image is what's | | | | this as part of the game of life. Use the setbacks as |
| important, and some even promote that you fake it till | | | | an opportunity to learn and improve your game plan. |
| you make it. Many of you feel pressured to live up to | | | | This is not the time to sulk and doubt your efforts. Get |
| these expectations and may feel as if you are letting | | | | some feedback from an expert in the field, make the |
| down yourself or your family if you don't. So from that | | | | necessary adjustments and keep moving forward. |
| very first grade you receive in elementary school you | | | | - Introduce more positive self-talk. Talk to yourself as if |
| feel as if you are a specimen under a microscope | | | | trying to encourage a doubting friend to feel better. |
| afraid to mess up and where a pressure to perform | | | | Remind yourself "you can do it." Feed positive |
| or a fear of rejection constantly looms overhead. | | | | affirmations to yourself throughout your day until it |
| True the expectations set for us enable us to become | | | | becomes a habit. These affirmations have a tendency |
| high achievers and attain soaring levels of | | | | to replace self-doubt. |
| accomplishment and satisfaction in life. However, for | | | | - Learn to handle criticism. In life there are always going |
| many this can have the reverse effect. When one | | | | to be people who will try to put you down or reject |
| lacks self-confidence these standards set by society | | | | your efforts. Rejection is a terrible thing and can be |
| or families can lead to doubt and fear. When one has | | | | easily filtered through our thoughts in the form of |
| self-doubt, their limitations are exaggerated to the point | | | | doubts. I have seen clients who receive enormous |
| that it takes over the thought process and distorts the | | | | praise for their efforts but when one person criticizes |
| belief system. | | | | them it destroys all they good they have done. Think |
| Doubt can be caused by some of the following: | | | | about how illogical this is and don't allow other people |
| - Believing that your emotional security depends on | | | | to destroy your efforts. Please click here to learn how |
| someone or something. | | | | to deal with criticism. |
| - Feelings of inferiority | | | | - Find a coach or a mentor. At times we cannot |
| - Low self-esteem | | | | recognize our vicious cycle of self-doubt. Others can |
| - Feeling a lack of control over your life | | | | see it but we can't. A coach or mentor can help you |
| - Believing that you are not good enough or smart | | | | to identify unhealthy beliefs, doubts, and unrealistic |
| enough to even attempt the smallest of tasks. | | | | expectations that undermine your performance. They |
| - Anticipating failure even before you begin | | | | can also help you determine the sources of doubt and |
| - Unresolved psychological trauma | | | | resolve them. This kind of guidance can move you light |
| - Depression | | | | years ahead in achieving your goals. |
| - An environment that breeds doubt and negativity | | | | Begin today to lose the self-doubt. Take a look at |
| - Rejection | | | | what scares you the most and begin to address them. |
| Fear, the Accomplice | | | | Don't continue to allow your doubts to control your |
| Doubting oneself is an indication of a greater fear. You | | | | destiny. It's time to look within and free yourself of |
| know you feel fearful but it's difficult to identify what it | | | | doubt so you can live your full potential. |
| is you are afraid of. It could be fear of failure, pressure | | | | |