| Most people have hopes and dreams. Most people | | | | even happens. "You're too old." "You're too young." |
| understand what it will take to get to those dreams. | | | | "You don't have enough experience." "You have too |
| And most people at some point in their lives accept | | | | much experience." "You're not attractive." "Don't fall in |
| that they probably won't get there and give up hope. | | | | love - you always get hurt." "Don't try that, it's too risky |
| Why? Because they can't seem to get the issues that | | | | and you will fail just like last time." "You'll never be able |
| haunt them out of the way. The pain of first | | | | to do that." "Nobody works hard anymore." "I'm picky |
| uncovering the demons, facing them and then knowing | | | | because I deserve better." An undetected and |
| how to tame them seems impossible. But there is a | | | | reconciled gremlin can manifest itself in physical |
| way. | | | | symptoms such as asthma, ulcers, headaches, |
| Throughout our lives we begin to notice that certain | | | | backaches, neuroses and more. |
| negative behaviors tend to repeat themselves - career | | | | What is the gremlin in your head telling you? How does |
| choices that aren't fulfilling, bad choices in romance, | | | | it inhibit your ability to get what you want? Are you |
| reactive and defensive behavior when being criticized, | | | | willing to stare it in the face? What does it look like? |
| lack of solid friendships, disinterest in things that should | | | | Draw it on paper. Hang it where you can see it so that |
| matter. We notice a pattern in how people describe us: | | | | you may get comfortable with it. You can't expect to |
| controlling, stubborn, under-performing, difficult, cold, | | | | rid your life of your gremlin entirely. It is too comfortable |
| inconsiderate, self-absorbed, irresponsible. Nobody | | | | with you and you with it. But if you can give it |
| grows up and wants to become these things. And | | | | something to do, you might just be able to move |
| nobody really wants to admit that they act this way. | | | | around it in a positive direction while it's pre-occupied. |
| So we justify our behavior as simply other people's | | | | How to Preoccupy Your Gremlin |
| misinterpretations, insensitivity or jealousy. But the truth | | | | The next time you have a goal in mind and your |
| is that when enough people repeatedly give us the | | | | gremlin peppers you with self-doubt notice that it's |
| same feedback whether it be direct or indirect, we | | | | there and ask it to sit with you for a moment. You |
| have to take a look at our own behavior. It can't | | | | know what it looks like from the sketch that you |
| always be someone else's interpretation. | | | | made. Noticing it is the first and most important step to |
| Most people who are at a juncture in their lives where | | | | disarming it. In this moment you are no longer ensnared |
| they want to move forward but aren't able to don't | | | | with your gremlin. You are its spectator. Look it in the |
| understand why they just can't seem to do what | | | | face. Take a deep breath - all the way to your |
| needs to be done. Certain emotions when conjured up | | | | stomach. Slowly exhale from your stomach. Fear is |
| bring about a habitual reaction that may be rooted in | | | | your gremlin's primary tool. In his book "Taming Your |
| the past. I've coached many people with the same | | | | Gremlin" Rick Carson reminds us that most people's |
| issue from CEOs to people in transition. Intellectually | | | | biggest fears are around abandonment, pain and |
| they know pretty well what they need to do. They | | | | death. Your gremlin will tell you that tensing up against |
| can articulate fairly clearly their "to-do" list and yet the | | | | these fears will ease the discomfort when in fact all |
| important things don't seem to get "to-done." | | | | that does is initiate the discomfort and limit the |
| Sometimes the lack of productiveness is because the | | | | possibility for intimacy. |
| "to-do" list is out of alignment with their values and | | | | What is your gremlin doing as you are maintaining |
| focusing on the end result might bring them closer to | | | | control of your goals? In another article I suggest that if |
| their values as opposed to the tasks to get there. | | | | it is really unwieldy give it a virtual drink of something |
| Sometimes once they define their values they see | | | | that will pacify it - top shelf whiskey, chamomile tea. |
| that what they thought they needed to focus on is not | | | | Ask yourself during this exercise, "Regarding my goal, |
| going to bring them closer to fulfillment after all and that | | | | what is the consequence of doing nothing." |
| they begin to re-examine their goals. | | | | If you make habit of noticing your gremlin and |
| Oftentimes, however, there is a voice in just about | | | | co-existing with it as a disciplined creature you will find |
| everybody's head that is repeating a limiting conviction | | | | that you are able to direct it to keep busy while you |
| whereby you practice failure in your mind before it | | | | get what you want. Who would have thought? |