| Providing and receiving feedback, whether it is asked | | | | next time to improve on what they are already doing |
| for or not, is a regular feature of interacting with others. | | | | well or to avoid potential difficulties. |
| We generously provide our opinions to others in the | | | | Avoid Getting Caught-Up in the Rules |
| hope that they will change their thoughts or behaviours | | | | We have rules for everything; sometimes they are |
| in some way. That is, in a way that we believe will be | | | | written down and sometimes just assumed. There are |
| of benefit to them or us. | | | | always exceptions to the rules. Before providing |
| But do they really hear what we are saying? Are we | | | | feedback, check to see if the rule really applies in this |
| presenting our feedback in a way that the other | | | | situation. |
| person is open to receiving or at least considering? | | | | I remember receiving feedback from a colleague on a |
| There are many different approaches to providing | | | | presentation that I delivered. He pointed out that during |
| feedback. At one end of the spectrum are those who | | | | my presentation I had turned my back on the audience |
| never compliment you on what you have done well, | | | | in order to adjust a flipchart. He went on to say that |
| but only offer feedback when there is something that | | | | according to a well-respected public speaking |
| needs correcting. If you have been subject to this type | | | | organization, turning your back to the audience is |
| of feedback, you know that after awhile you begin | | | | something that you just do not do - generally a good |
| tuning out these types of people and even avoid | | | | rule. I followed up with the feedback provider and |
| engaging them in any meaningful conversation. At the | | | | found that my actions in no way diminished his |
| other end of the spectrum are those who sugar coat | | | | enjoyment of my presentation, that not to adjust the |
| the feedback to such a degree that you are not really | | | | flipchart may have resulted in problems later during my |
| sure of the point they are trying to make. | | | | presentation. It was all a matter that there is this rule |
| Generally providers of feedback are well intentioned. | | | | and I violated it. |
| The problem is that the delivery mechanism used may | | | | Use NLP's Logical Levels as a Guide |
| not be the most appropriate. | | | | NLP's logical levels can be used as a guide for |
| So how can you provide feedback? I believe there | | | | presenting your feedback. You may choose to focus |
| needs to be some balance - let people or teams know | | | | on: |
| what they are doing well and hence should do more of | | | | * Environment - where, when and with whom. That is, |
| and also let them know where there is room for | | | | the person may have chosen an inappropriate (or |
| improvement. | | | | great) location, time or group of people. |
| Feedback Sandwich | | | | * Behaviour. What specifically did they do or not do? |
| A popular form of feedback is the feedback | | | | * Strategies/Capabilities. You may wish to comment |
| sandwich. Simply, what this means is you sandwich | | | | on their approach (strategy) or maybe a capability/skill |
| any feedback that may be interpreted in some way | | | | they demonstrated or failed to demonstrate. |
| as negative between positive comments. When done | | | | * Beliefs/Values. Unless the person actually stated their |
| appropriately, this can provide a nice balance between | | | | beliefs and values, it is difficult to provide feedback at |
| those things the person/team has done well and those | | | | the Beliefs/Values level. You can however ask |
| areas where the feedback provider believes the | | | | questions about their beliefs and values and then |
| person/team could improve. | | | | provide feedback on this information. |
| The feedback sandwich does have its drawbacks: | | | | * Identity. At this level, you are best advised to avoid |
| * Metaphorically, this approach is often viewed as a | | | | any negative feedback, e.g. You are incompetent. |
| bun (the positive feedback) and the meat (the | | | | Rather comment on the behaviours that led you to this |
| negative or constructive feedback). This is unfortunate, | | | | conclusion. |
| as the 'meat' of the matter may actually be about how | | | | * Spirituality/Purpose. Here you may wish to ask |
| the other person has done something particularly well. | | | | questions about the purpose of his/her actions and the |
| That is, the 'meat' does not have to be negative. | | | | connection to a larger system. |
| * The positive feedback may be very thin and the | | | | Speak What is True for You |
| recipient perceives this as a veiled attempt to only | | | | Speak from the heart and talk about the impact of the |
| criticize. | | | | person's actions on you. For example, when you did X, |
| * The feedback provider, either because they do not | | | | I felt Y. Feedback recipients can argue about the |
| have confidence in what they wish to say or not | | | | impact of their actions on others, however they can |
| wanting to upset the recipient, may place too much | | | | not dispute the impact their actions had on you. |
| emphasis on the positive feedback and provide little | | | | Be Clear as to Your Purpose |
| 'meat' or direction for improvement. | | | | When giving feedback ask yourself "For what purpose |
| * Knowing that the feedback will include both positive | | | | I am providing this feedback? If it is to prove you know |
| and negative points, the recipient may wonder how | | | | more than someone else, to bring another person |
| relevant all of the feedback is. That is, were some | | | | down to your level or it seems to be the thing to do; |
| points introduced or was unwarranted emphasis | | | | then maybe you should reconsider and explore what |
| placed on one or more points simply to provide more | | | | you can do to move yourself forward. |
| of a balance? | | | | Sometimes your purpose is honourable and |
| The feedback sandwich is a good place to start and | | | | appropriate, yet your feedback is focused on the |
| the question is: How can we improve it? | | | | recipient performing a specific behaviour. A behaviour |
| Know the Context | | | | that you may find easy to do, but the recipient may |
| Sometimes, in our attempt to be helpful, we provide | | | | feel this is too prescriptive or not feasible or not |
| feedback without knowing the context or purpose. | | | | acceptable. In this situation, it may be more appropriate |
| For example, suppose I build a low, sleek, high-powered | | | | to raise the issue and then volunteer to work with the |
| car with only a driver's seat. Without knowing the | | | | other person to explore ways that this issue can be |
| context, you may criticize it as not being much of a | | | | addressed. |
| family car. However, if the context (my intention) was | | | | Ensure the Recipient is Open to Receiving Feedback |
| to develop a revolutionary racing car, your feedback is | | | | Before giving feedback, make sure you have been |
| off topic and not of use to me. | | | | invited to do so or ask the person if they would |
| Before providing feedback, determine the context | | | | appreciate receiving feedback. If the answer is no, |
| purpose. | | | | then move on to something else. Providing feedback |
| Focus on Improvement Rather than Criticism | | | | when it is not asked for or appreciated is simply a |
| Far too often, feedback comes across as criticism. To | | | | waste of time. It may satisfy a short-term need you |
| overcome this, identify the issue and then make | | | | have and it may not build a healthy, mutually supportive |
| suggestions on what the person can do differently | | | | relationship with the other person. |