| The scenario: a social event (anything from an industry | | | | talk. |
| function to your cousin Freida's wedding). You've been | | | | The absolutely easiest way for an introvert to get |
| in a room with at least a hundred other people for | | | | through a social chat situation is to find an extravert |
| hours. You've been introduced to dozens of strangers, | | | | and ask an even vaguely leading question (and don't |
| had conversations with a score of acquaintances, and | | | | stress too much about that - in many cases, "Hey! |
| are just sitting down to dinner with a table full of people | | | | How's it going?" will do the trick). And then just let them |
| you barely know. What you're thinking right now is:a. It's | | | | roll. |
| great meeting all these new friends.b. This is an | | | | Don't feel pressured to share too much. Most |
| incredible networking opportunity.c. I'd rather be having | | | | introverts tend to feel stressed when people start |
| root canal. | | | | talking about personal things, mainly because there's a |
| If your answer is C., chances are you're part of the | | | | fear of being expected to reply in kind. Being |
| approximately 25% of the population who are | | | | compelled to talk about personal matters at all, let |
| introverts. | | | | alone with strangers, is an introvert nightmare. |
| Generally speaking, extraverts (the other 75% of the | | | | Forget it. In small talk situations, people tend to be a lot |
| population) thrive on social contact, enjoy group | | | | less interested in what you're saying than what they're |
| activities, and are energized by simply being around | | | | going to say next. This is probably a pain for |
| other people. Introverts thrive on quiet, focused | | | | extraverts, but it's an absolute godsend for introverts. If |
| activities, enjoy solitude, and can find being around | | | | you're pleasant, polite, and seem interested, the other |
| others very draining. | | | | party will never notice that you actually said very little. |
| For most introverts, social small talk is about as | | | | Of course you run the risk of hearing all the details |
| enjoyable as a nasty rash. But it's one of the facts of | | | | about their job, their kids, or their gall bladder surgery, |
| life: unless you opt for living in a cave on a deserted | | | | but you'll live through it. And it will get you through the |
| island, you're going to find yourself in situations where | | | | event gracefully. |
| small talk is inevitable. Here are some ways to get | | | | Keep Smiling. This is really important for a couple of |
| through it. | | | | reasons. One, you owe it to the other people at the |
| Remember that most people are extraverts ... and | | | | event; even if you wish more than anything that you |
| what they really want is an opportunity to talk. So give | | | | were home alone, standing around looking glum, dour, |
| it to them! Introverts are gifted with a unique social skill: | | | | unhappy, unapproachable, or annoyed is just plain bad |
| the ability to listen. A conversation between two | | | | manners. Introversion is a personality trait, not a license |
| hard-core extraverts is more of a battle for airtime | | | | for rudeness. |
| than an exchange of ideas. The skillful introvert quickly | | | | And two, you owe it to yourself. It's been proven over |
| learns that if you're willing to listen, you don't have to | | | | and over again that if you smile you will feel happier. |