| My sisters and I didn't know exactly why our parents | | | | three miles. I don't really know why, but I had convinced |
| spent their Saturday mornings driving around the | | | | myself I couldn't go longer than that. Until the year |
| neighborhood, strategically leaving water bottles along | | | | 2000, when I declared that perhaps if I too could |
| the way. We didn't know why they were gone most | | | | complete a marathon, it could act as a metaphor for |
| of the morning and then exhausted when they came | | | | my life. That perhaps it would create possibility in my |
| in. I mean, we knew they were running...but from what, | | | | life where I didn't know possibility even existed. Little did |
| we didn't know. Were they running from failed | | | | I know how true that would become. |
| marriages or from the challenges of a new one? Or | | | | Just five years after actually becoming a runner, I |
| were they simply running to get away from us? We | | | | faced the misfortune of having to leave my marriage |
| didn't give it much more than a shrug of our shoulders | | | | of 14 years. It was an impossible decision, it seemed, to |
| at the time, but thirty years later, I tend to think they | | | | leave a man who loved me dearly, to break apart a |
| weren't running from anything, but rather running | | | | family that involved two fabulous children and to turn |
| towards something. | | | | towards a path alone. My unhappiness had been |
| Running is a simple sport that most healthy individuals | | | | eating at me silently for years, until one day I knew I |
| can participate in. No matter what their level of activity | | | | had to find the courage to leave. I also knew no one |
| is, they can do it. One foot in front of the other. But the | | | | would understand. I spent that summer basically alone |
| power it has of transforming someone into a whole | | | | in my head, repeating my favorite mantra, "in the face |
| new way of being, is amazing. For my parents, some | | | | of fear, I will be courageous," but knew deep inside I |
| twenty years ago, it was definitely a way to create | | | | was as scared as possible. |
| something different in their lives, as they tried to bridge | | | | After a long summer of learning to be a packer, a |
| two families together and create a "til death do us | | | | buyer and a seller, I quickly began to feel the strength |
| part" relationship. It was different for them, as they had | | | | coming back to me. One step at a time, I was handling |
| basically not done much in the way of exercise at all, | | | | a million tasks that seemed impossible to accomplish |
| and since they were healthy and already thin, it really | | | | alone. But there was nothing that created more |
| became taking each new step together...one mile at a | | | | possibility in my life than the day the movers moved |
| time. Similar to how they created their life together, | | | | me into my new house. The one that I had bought. It |
| with family meetings, way ahead of their time and | | | | seemed to take days for them to get my furniture just |
| Sunday family activities, even against our will. But in the | | | | so, but just as the sun started to set, they were done |
| end, they became a united front, completing almost a | | | | and heading out with their empty truck. I remember |
| dozen marathons and becoming the "Home Team" for | | | | sitting on the couch, just staring at the walls, listening to |
| all of us. I believe now, that running gave them much | | | | the silence of the house and the silence of my inner |
| more than strength in their legs. | | | | voice. For a while I didn't move, wondering when the |
| For me, running was too lonely of a hobby. All that time | | | | fear would hit me, but then without thinking, I went up |
| spent alone, meant time to think about the weather | | | | the stairs, changed my clothes and laced up my |
| that was either too hot or too cold. It meant time to be | | | | running shoes. There was only one thing to do. Run. |
| deep in my head and uncover all the complaints I'd | | | | I headed out onto my quiet new street without even |
| been dodging and it was simply time to be alone...which | | | | my ipod. For I was alone, just where I wanted to be, |
| I never really cared for. I prided myself on my strength | | | | feeling empowered and strong. As I returned from my |
| and confidence coming from being surrounded by | | | | run and headed around the corner, I spotted my home |
| others. I was the "social"one. The one that was never | | | | and began to run faster and faster. Tears ran down |
| alone. The one, I believe, that was too afraid to be | | | | my face as I acknowledged that I was no longer |
| alone. | | | | running from anything either, but instead, towards |
| Although I always worked out, I only ran when on | | | | something...my future. |
| vacation or very short on time and never more than | | | | |