| Why would a beautiful, talented person be without a | | | | madly in love with them, they think they have been |
| date or a partner? Do you think it's because: all the | | | | rejected. They then consider this as evidence that |
| good ones are married, there isn't anyone you can | | | | they will never find love. Do you recognize that fear in |
| trust "out there," she isn't young enough, she isn't thin | | | | yourself? |
| enough, and, it's just impossible to meet a good guy at | | | | SOLUTION: Why aren't you dating? It is easy to feel |
| her age? | | | | rejected if you do not take action to meet people. |
| Though dating and meeting someone isn't as easy as | | | | Success comes in the VOLUME of people you meet. |
| plucking a plum off of a tree, attractive people can | | | | You have to get out often, be friendly, and start |
| throw a bunch of roadblocks in their paths. The | | | | conversations. If someone does not respond to you, |
| obstacles then become intimidating. Beautiful people | | | | you just move on because you have a volume of |
| often do not understand that just as they put the | | | | people to relate to. If you have four or five guys (or |
| roadblocks there, they can remove them. | | | | gals) asking you out, who cares if one of them is |
| Here are some of the roadblocks people construct | | | | eliminated? You see it as simply a weeding process. |
| that keep them single: | | | | * ROADBLOCK #3: Fear of taking risks |
| * ROADBLOCK #1: An obsession to be perfect | | | | Beautiful and talented singles will often do anything to |
| Even though single beautiful people look like they have | | | | get out of taking risks. We're not talking about bungee |
| everything going for them, they don't see it that way. | | | | jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. But I think they |
| They say things like: they can't go out to meet people | | | | would find that less fearful than going out and |
| because they have to lose some weight, or go get | | | | socializing. They go to work, stay long hours, spend the |
| Botox treatments, or consider liposuction, or get their | | | | weekends catching up on work, and rarely go |
| house looking perfect. They have a long list of things | | | | anywhere. Dinner and a movie with a friend once a |
| to do first. Do you have any of these thoughts running | | | | month is about as exciting as it gets. Then, they fuss |
| through your head? | | | | about how no one ever asks them out. How could |
| SOLUTION: How can you start dating? First, start to | | | | anyone find them? Are you hidden away where no |
| associate yourself with people who see you as | | | | one can see you? |
| wonderful. Then, work to counter the negative voice | | | | SOLUTION: Why aren't you dating? The primary |
| that tells you that you are not enough. Finally, set some | | | | thought that keeps singles from going out is that it is |
| reasonable goals about your weight and other | | | | undignified to go "looking" for love. They may think it is |
| changes you want to make. Give yourself a time | | | | not respectable to be flirtatious. Therefore, they may |
| frame within which to accomplish what you need. Talk | | | | not make any gestures toward being friendly with |
| with your best friend or a coach about what is realistic. | | | | other singles. But what happens is that singles can |
| REMEMBER: no one is perfect. | | | | eventually become hermits and seem aloof to others |
| * ROADBLOCK #2: Fear of rejection | | | | when they do go out. All it takes is a plan to socialize |
| Beautiful people who are alone are often good at their | | | | and then to be friendly when they get there. |
| work, admired by their peers, gorgeous, and athletic. | | | | If you are single and alone and want to meet |
| Why do they fear rejection? Why doesn't the | | | | someone, can you smile, make eye contact, ask a |
| confidence in their work transfer over into their social | | | | question, and listen? Of course you can. Now is the |
| life? Because many singles imagine that they are | | | | time to remove your roadblocks and make your single |
| unworthy. If other singles don't pursue them and fall | | | | life happy. |