| Okay, you have read some books on body language | | | | the other person. |
| and they all said you must mirror and match, pace and | | | | You can lead in many ways including.... |
| lead.... | | | | - being abundantly happy |
| And you failed miserably when you went out into the | | | | - smiling and genuinely caring about the other person |
| real world. | | | | - exuding enthusiasm and excitement |
| Let me tell you why and what you need to do instead. | | | | If as you read this you think - hang on, what has this |
| But first a story that illustrates my point... | | | | got to do with communication? |
| A few years ago I moved into a very well paid | | | | It has everything to do with it. |
| position in the company where I worked. And in my | | | | 93% of communication is non-verbal. Remember that. |
| new job I was dealing with company directors, | | | | That is why I place so much emphasis on mental and |
| business owners and senior executives -- face to | | | | emotional states - if you don´t grasp this, |
| face. | | | | knowing what to say will not matter because you will |
| And to make it all even more challenging I would meet | | | | be gripped by fear, indecision and insecurity. |
| them on their territory - in their offices. | | | | 3. Take the Discussion Where You Want it to Go |
| Teachers of pacing and leading would tell me to pace | | | | Many people are far too passive when it comes to |
| these executives and then to gradually lead them. | | | | making polite conversation. |
| However this is the 21st century where everything | | | | Why? |
| happens at warp speed. You need to take charge of | | | | Because you have unconscious rules that dictate what |
| social interactions within the first 5 seconds or its all | | | | is acceptable. You may even have old patterns |
| over. | | | | running in your mind that are no longer appropriate e.g. |
| First impressions do count. | | | | only speak when spoken to; don´t talk to |
| This applies in business and in your social life. If you | | | | strangers. |
| hesitate, wait and even... pace and lead the game will | | | | I hereby give you permission to break these rules! |
| be over before you know what has happened. | | | | The way to get started with being more adventurous |
| Here is what you need to do: | | | | is as follows... |
| 1. Take Great Care of Yourself. | | | | First of all, notice that you have a habit of letting other |
| Get enough sleep, eat well and take exercise that | | | | people dictate the flow of conversation. |
| makes you feel good on a regular basis. | | | | Then, in a small way start being more proactive and |
| Neglect your body and your emotional state will slide | | | | suggest new topics of conversation or new directions |
| too. | | | | to go in. |
| And before you know it you will not have the energy | | | | At this point do not concern yourself with whether or |
| to rise to the occasion. | | | | not the person you are talking to follows your lead. |
| Having tons of energy is absolutely crucial if you want | | | | Just get comfortable with making suggestions. |
| to excel. When you feel fantastic it gets easier and | | | | If you are already living these principles you are having |
| easier to be at your very best whenever you choose | | | | great success in all your dealings with other people. |
| to be. | | | | If you are not -- you have room to get even better. |
| 2. Lead and then Pace! | | | | Listen!. |
| Instead of pacing and leading do this... | | | | I was really not much good at dealing with people until I |
| Get yourself into a great emotional state FIRST. The | | | | committed to mastering this crucial life skill. |
| other person will then follow your lead. | | | | You can get better and you will when you aim to |
| The more energetic you are, the happier you are and | | | | improve even a little each and every day AND you |
| the more confident you are --- the easier it is to lead | | | | apply proven techniques. |